The key to living a simple life

1. Feel and be happy, whatever the situation.

2. Worry less! (Easier said than done, even for myself)

3. Don’t complain (Something I find a challange, especially being a female)

4. Put YOUR happiness first.

5. Take each day as it comes, have no expectations. Everything else is bonus.

6. Stop any negative thinking.

7. Be nice to others and you’ll be treated the way you want to be treated.

8. Forgive others, and yourself.

9. Don’t hold grudges.

10. LOVE life.

11. Be positive.

12. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re a good person.

13. Be confident in yourself.

14. Be open minded as much as you can because thoughts become things!

15. Make a negative situation a positive one, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

16. And most importantly, SMILE!

The universe will take care of the rest.

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Envision everything

Don’t you find it amazing when you picture something happening in your mind; whether it is dreaming about that new car, seeing yourself with your true love, being wealthy and successful, and it actually comes true and appears right before your eyes?

This is the process of visualisation. And it works wonders if you apply it to your own life.

I use this process and a number of times, things I have thought about eventually come true. There are too many examples to name them all specifically but to name a few, before I came to the UK, working at a bar or club is what I really wanted to do so I imagined myself working behind the bar in some sort of busy club meeting new friends and that has come true for me now. And this might seem borderline stalker, lol but we all do it I’m sure but there is a guy I work with at Enigma who is pretty good looking (luckily I don’t have anyone from work on Facebook for them to see this because I would be the slightest embarrassed) and I just kept imagining seeing him around town, just keep seeing his face in my mind and what do you know? Tonight I briefly see him outside a grocery store randomly! So weird. But it just goes to show that whatever you imagine you want to happen, no matter how big or small, these thoughts become things and what you visualise won’t necessarily come true straight away but it always does eventually.

I discovered this process through reading ‘The Secret’. And it’s really useful to use when you want to have something in your life. For example, if you want that dream car you need to visualise you already have it and then one day, whether it be in weeks, months or years, that dream car you’ve always wanted will be right before your eyes.

I find it so important to visualise what I want because I know it will become real one day. It has already happened for me a number of times and this process hasn’t failed me yet! Well, not that I can think of anyway.

So don’t forget to VISUALISE because everything you’ve been dreaming about will be yours.

Be who you are, and do it on purpose

This blog is inspired by one of my good friends Christopher Stefano. Since receiving the a’okay from him to write about a recent incident he went through, I have decided to share it with you all. Chris is gay and his mum’s friend is a homophobe and she had recently put him down and cursed at him for his sexuality saying things like ‘it is all an act and that he tries to be gay, dresses like a freak and will never succeed in life’. Chris being someone I really care about, knowing that this happened has hurt and angered me that people can say such a thing. What I am most proud of about Chris in this situation is that he never backed down on who he is and he wasn’t afraid to make that clear to her. He stays true to himself and doesn’t care what people think of him. And that makes him such a strong, happy and true person. And I love him for that. I am not a judgemental person myself and I have absolutely nothing against gays and lesbians. I accept people for who they are no matter what their sexuality. I just can’t seem to understand why others have to be so rude against it. His situation really stresses the importance of being who you are and staying true to that no matter what anyone else thinks. It also shows that some people are extremely judgemental and ignorant and that they are the ones who truly aren’t happy in their own lives. They’re either lacking something, are jealous, don’t really feel good about themselves and are insecure. And I think that’s the most important thing to realise too because you shouldn’t let people bring you down when you know who you are and you’re proud of it. Chris’s situation reminds me of quite a few people who have put me down, just because they have nothing better to do. Namely, my ex. Similarly, as what I have stated in my ‘Just laugh it off’ and ‘Ignorance is bliss’ blogs I think it is so important to just laugh at those who bring you down, ignore them and keep them out of your life! Because in the end, they are the ones who need a reality check in their own lives! And if they were truly happy, they wouldn’t be saying negative things about you or towards you to bring you down. That is such an important lesson I have learned; is to just be myself, not be afraid of that and be proud of who I am and always stay true to that. If people aren’t happy with who I am and don’t accept me for me then it’s their loss. And I don’t care because if you can’t take me as I am then really, you’re just not a genuine person and I don’t need that in my life. NO ONE does. Get rid of negative, judgmental, ignorant people because they are just toxic and will ruin your life if you let them in. Say NO, be true to who you are, never be afraid of it and live your life as happily as you can. Surround yourself with good, positive people and I am more than certain you are going to succeed in life.

All the best!
– Kathy
xxx

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This is my amazing friend Chris, isn’t he gorgeous!

Self belief

I have been in England for just over a week and I have already been able to get two jobs: one at an inbound call centre only a 7 minute walk from home and one at a local nightclub called ‘Enigma’ as a bar person once a week every Saturday.

I’m so amazed that this has happened all so quickly. I feel like I have been here for longer than a week because I’ve settled in so well and adapted to things quite quickly. I really feel England wants me here. It’s all just working out so well for me. I’m so happy and loving life.

What inspired me to write this blog is the fact that the reason I have got to where I am now is because I believe in myself and I always have a positive attitude and keep an open mind. Of course being here is a new and different experience which has caused some nerves but it’s all about giving things a go and trying things out and seeing how far you get.

I’m so proud I have come so far in my life by having the opportunity to travel at such a young age. America was a great head start in travelling on my own. And now I’m in the UK! Life is just so great right now and I have already learned so much in this week since being in the UK. I have already had doors of opportunity in front of me that I am experiencing and I’m going to gain so much out of them.

Working at the bar will be a great way for me to meet different people and use my social skills that I’ve had my whole life. What I love about my personality the most is that I love talking to people, I’m friendly and very sociable. Now I can apply this to my job and make new friends!

I love that I’ve had the confidence and courage to get out there and experience the world and do different things. I’m never going to stop believing. Having faith is the key to a successful and happy life. I’m so excited for the year ahead!

The law of attraction

The law of attraction is a term used in The Secret which means attracting our thoughts and drawing them to ourselves whether they are good or bad. It is the most powerful law in the universe because YOU attract what you want in your life and whatever thoughts are on your mind, you are emitting that onto a frequency to the Universe and those thoughts are transmitted back to you. Whatever it is you’re feeling is what you will receive.

This law fits in with something that happened to me today – I was at a department store minding my own business when a lovely man came up to me and told me: ‘You are so beautiful’ And it was so unexpected. I was so thankful for his compliment and it was so nice of him to say. He said it in such a respectful way too. Now I don’t intend to be up myself in any way at all here, but I’m happy he said that because I know I am and it’s because I feel good about myself and have been attracting thoughts of high self-esteem, knowing I look good, feeling good within myself that I’m receiving such compliments. I never used to be told this near as much or at all randomly when I had low self esteem because I didn’t believe in myself. I never believed I was beautiful at all.

Being positive and feeling happy within yourself brings so much good into your life. ‘Like attracts like’ as The Secret states and if you are constantly having happy thoughts then you are attracting that back into your life. The more good you feel, the more good things will come to you.

It works the same with negative thoughts. If you keep thinking them, negativity is what you are transmitting back.

‘Everything you want is an inside job! The outside world is the world of effects; it’s the result of thoughts’
– The Secret

Always remember to attract the good instead of the bad!

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

I never thought I would be able to talk about a break up I went through without getting emotional but here I am, about to do so.

I was with a guy for three years and we broke up about a year and a half ago. I was very back and forth with him afterwards – talking, then not talking and so forth. I was taking so many steps backwards in to moving on but for anyone who has been in a long term relationship and have broken up, you would understand how hard it is to avoid that one person who you’ve shared so much with and who’s been in your life for a long time.

Those closest to me know how much I was affected by the break up and how much I let it ruin my life! And none of it was worth it.

Referring to my ‘I am number one’ blog, I mentioned how I would always try and please my ex boyfriend so he was happy and as a result, neglecting my needs, my health and my happiness. I did that for months and months, even though I knew it was for nothing and knew it was a waste of my time and effort and that it was a cost to my happiness.

It’s so strange how one person can affect your life so much and make you do extreme things and go to desperate measures. You become a different person, what I’d like to call, the worst version of yourself. I was never happy with my ex boyfriend in my life and even when I thought I was, it didn’t last very long. I knew that he was making me unhappy but I never kept away from him, as much as I knew I should have.

After a year and a half of almost hell, I can safely say that I have accepted that my relationship with my ex boyfriend is over and it’s time for me to move on, which I have already been doing this past month while being away.

All the times I was miserable and let my ex boyfriend consume my life, I never thought I could get through it and I never thought that I could get over him.
But this past month away has done wonders for my emotional and physical health. I laugh everyday, I’m always smiling, I’m a better friend, sister and daughter and I appreciate life so much more. I also run everyday, eat less and eat better and I’m feeling great!

Don’t get me wrong, break ups are hard and I went through a lot but I am so happy that I’m in the healing process and taking care of myself, doing things to make me happy and not worrying about what anyone else wants because I know that I’m important and deserve to feel and be happy.

I don’t feel guilty, regretful or sad about the break up or how things have turned out from then on because I know everything happens for a reason and not every relationship is meant to be. There is a lot worse out there and I’m
lucky I didn’t go through a relationship that lasted longer through to an engagement or marriage!

Despite the pain it did put me through, pain is more than likely to occur and exist which we have to accept but to suffer is a CHOICE. And I choose not to suffer over an experience that I am already starting to heal from and one in which I am becoming a much better and stronger person.

I can’t even remember the last time I felt this happy but I am very glad that I have reached this point. We always get there in the end. All it takes is time,
patience, acceptance and realisation that life does get better and that there is a bigger world beyond that one guy we thought we would be with for a life time. As one door closes, another one opens and I am so excited to experience this beautiful world and what challenges it brings me! Onward and upward!

Just laugh it off!

I’m pretty sure most of us have been through stressful times, whether minimal or extreme. And I’m pretty sure we have all been through a time where things are going really great for us and we’re really happy and some ‘one’ or some ‘people’ crap all over it and try and ruin it for us. When certain situations get us down we can change that mood in an instant! Since reading The Secret I have learned that you can have the choice to feel a certain way. YOU can choose the way you want to live your life and how you react to things. If you’re focusing on stressful situations and making yourself feel sad, then your going to constantly bring that negativity onto yourself. And if you want to feel happy it works the same way and you can change to that mood in an instant! I’m more than certain we would rather feel the latter. It is very true though. There is a lot of stress and hard times in this world but we can’t let it get to the point that we feel that there is no way out. We don’t have to feel sad about something if we don’t want to. Any situation, no matter how bad it may seem can be turned into a good one but it’s all up to YOU to turn it around.

I like to say that I’m more of a positive, open minded person these days but in the past when I’ve gone through terrible situations I have felt like it’s the end of the world, that there will be no solution and that the issue will never go away so I would keep focusing on it, bringing more misery into my life, taking things out on my loved ones and neglecting my needs. I know now that all of those feelings were unnecessary. Don’t get me wrong, of course we’re all allowed to feel sad and feel like crap at times, no day is ever perfect and we can’t expect it to be but  we shouldn’t have to make ourselves feel that way all the time. If you want to feel happy, you can change that immediately! Put on some good music – I recommend anything you can dance to because it gets your energy up, it’s good exercise and I can guarantee it will make you feel good straight away 🙂 It’s one of the things I love to do when I don’t want to focus on something that will stress me out. Go on a walk, a run, read a book or even go to your favourite place and just relax and write in a journal. Do whatever you know will put that smile on your face. There is ALWAYS something that will make you feel better. You’ve just got to find it and use it and you will turn that frown upside down!

A great thing that I’ve taken out from The Secret is to write a list of  ‘Secret Shifters’ down – these are things that make you feel better, things that make you laugh and feel happy. I have things included such as the beach because it’s one of my favourite places to be and somewhere I feel really calm, I have jokes between friends and I written down, my sister, my dad, things I like etc. These are all things that make me feel good. Different things you have on your list will shift your mood at different times so if you find that one of them doesn’t work, then move on to another. For example, thinking about the beach might not change my mood on one particular day but if I look at a joke between me and my friends, that is the primary thing that will make me feel better on that day. So it all depends but there is always something in that list that will lift your mood right up! So I recommend you all write a Secret Shifters list and keep it with you everywhere you go or somewhere you know you’ll always look at it.

But the most important point of all to stressful situations and to anyone who tries to bring you down is to just LAUGH IT OFF. There is nothing better than laughing about something that makes you sad. If you can’t do anything else, just laugh 🙂 It’s the best medicine after all, it makes us feel GOOD and everything seems so much easier and less of a problem. Whatever is going on in your life just disappears because you’re not focusing on the bad points. When it comes to people who are trying to get in your way, piss you off and bring you down for no good reason, just think to yourself, they are only trying to put you down for something they are lacking in their own lives and to feel better about themselves. So there is no point in feeling sad about it. In the end, they’re the ones who look like fools. WHO CARES! Laugh everything off  and the world will become a better place I can guarantee it 🙂

I am number one.

I’ve been reading The Secret lately and for those of you who don’t know it it’s a self-help book about the teachings and understandings of life and how you can change your life by using positive thinking. It’s a good read if you need to find yourself or grow in some way.

One aspect of The Secret that captures me the most is the teaching of attending to your own joy first rather than of others. In this particular section which is known as ‘The Secret to Relationships’ The Secret states that most of us have been taught to put ourselves last and as a result we attract feelings of being unworthy and undeserving. I’m sure a lot of us have been in this situation where we feel we should put others first in order to make them happy even if it is at a cost of our own happiness. We have this thought in our minds that as long as that other person is happy, then that’s all that matters. Before now, I would constantly put others before me. One example in particular when it comes to my friends, if one friend wanted to see me one afternoon but I had also planned to see a friend in that same afternoon I would try and fit both in so I wouldn’t let any of them down. Even though it was a lot of pressure and stress on me and would mean I would have to rush in seeing each friend, it didn’t matter as long as they were both happy. At the end of the day though, true friends will understand if something else has come up and you are unable to catch up with them. They will be happy to reschedule for another time. I did the same thing with my ex boyfriend after we broke up. If I had planned something for myself or with my friends and sister too, I would always put him first because there was this constant desire to make him happy and keep me in his good books so he’d always know I’d do whatever it took to make him happy, even though he didn’t treat me the way I wanted to be treated. But at the time it didn’t matter about me or anyone else, as much as I hate to say it now. It’s not worth losing friends over or becoming distant with them when they become sick of the fact you are constantly making yourself unhappy. If any of you have been in this situation you would know the feeling. You become so consumed in making this one person happy that you begin to neglect your own wants and needs.

So in saying that, is it really worth putting someone first at the cost of your own self worth and happiness? Personally, I think not at all. The Secret states that you need to attend to your joy first before others otherwise you are never going to feel good about yourself and you are allowing yourself to be treated badly by others and make it look like it’s okay for someone else to treat you that way. And who wants that for themselves? After months of acting this way, I know now never to risk my own happiness at the cost of somebody else especially if they are not worth it and don’t give as much back to you as you give to them. Joy comes from within, and we are all responsible for our own joy. People around us can contribute to our happiness but the joy comes from within ourselves. If we feel joy and feel good about ourselves you become good company to be around and others around you will feed off that joy and treat you the same way back, and this is because you are being happy within yourself, not because of someone else.

I don’t know about any of you, but I used to feel I needed someone to tell me I’m beautiful and tell me I’m a good person in order to believe that I am. But it doesn’t work that way. If we are relying on what other people tell us to convince ourselves we must be a certain way, that isn’t loving yourself, that isn’t being happy within yourself. It shows that you are insecure and lacking confidence in some way so you need other people to remind you of the good things about yourself. If you don’t love you and you are not happy within yourself, you are never going to feel good so no one is going to see and feel the good in you.  Be kind to yourself, know that you are a good person and tell yourself that everyday. A good friend of mine once told me to look in the mirror and tell myself  ‘Am I spunk or what?’ And it’s not silly to tell yourself that at all because you deserve to feel good within yourself in order to be happy each and everyday. Remember that YOU are the most important person in this world and never forget it!

Not only in situations when it comes to ex boyfriends, but in any situation where you are putting someone else before yourself and it makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, just say NO and don’t go ahead with it if you feel uneasy and not good within yourself. Because it’s really not worth the result of being unhappy in the end. People will respect you more if they know you’re not always going to be at their beck and call. If you ever have any doubts just remember this quote: ‘Saying no to others, means saying yes to you’. Do you know you’re number one? I know I sure am.

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