To worry not, is quite a task

Throughout the years I have always been a worry wart – overthinking every little thing, always thinking something is wrong when it isn’t, making small things into bigger things.

These days I try to keep worrying to a minimum as I know it doesn’t do me any good. But I guess that’s easier said than done. Some issues are so easy to put out of the mind, but then sometimes they come back and bother us again. I often question why I worry about certain issues when they don’t even matter or issues that I have no control over. I get myself into what my best friend calls an ‘anxiety spiral’ where I let the worry bother me so much it takes over me. I wish I did care less about certain things, but sometimes it’s so hard to let stuff go.

I guess the moral of this story is to not worry about anything you can’t change, don’t dwell on the past, and just concentrate on the now. We can all choose whether or not to worry about something. And if we look at the bigger picture and ask ourselves whether this will matter in 5 or 10 years time, then we should be convinced that worrying is unecessary!

Don’t worry, be happy

Since I had a rough week last week having a hard time dealing with homesickness, I decided to post this photo up of me at a time I was really happy and calm, and also somewhere that is my favourite place to be – the beach! Starting to feel much better now thanks to the weather and my friends, especially having an awesome girlie day out today with Lisa.

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If anyone else is having a hard time, I have this photo up for you too to remind you all to treasure the good moments in your life and be as happy as you can be despite the bad times.

Take care, be strong, happy smiling and god bless!

Love Kathy
xxx

War of my life

‘Worry doesn’t help tomorrow’s troubles, but it does ruin today’s happiness’ – Anonymous

I’ve been somewhat stressed the past couple of days. I do accept that this is normal because not everyday is perfect. I’ve been feeling bad about not trying out the pub job I had a chance to experience and I’m really keen on getting a second job so I can keep busy and help my family financially. I’m frustrated I haven’t been able to find one, apart from the opportunity from the pub job I had. So it is making me feel a little lost and uncertain. I’m so happy I have a job at Enigma but I also want something with more hours and during the week, while my cousins are at school.

Not only has that been on my mind, but I’ve been over-thinking and looking into some things a little too much.

I also found out that the university I got into has deferred me until the wrong year; 2014 instead of 2013. I know it’s not the end of the world and it will all work out but I would be quite upset if they can’t change this to the correct year because I went through the process of applying for uni and getting it organised. It’s not a difficult process but I just don’t want to have to go through that again because of one minor error someone has made. I have emailed the university and have kindly asked them to change my deferral time to the correct year. All I need to do is wait on their response and the outcome.

I don’t like feeling stressed, as I can’t imagine anyone else would. It’s an uncomfortable feeling that leads you nowhere and only makes you worry unnecessarily. I know now how to deal with it better, since becoming a more optimistic person so I know what to focus on when I’m feeling like this. I have gone over my ‘Secret Shifter’s list which has helped and I have also listened to some upbeat music that made me feel like dancing.

‘It’s possible to forget how alive we really are. We can become dry and tired, just existing, instead of really living. We need to remind ourselves of the juice of life, and make that a habit. Find those places inside that jump for joy, and do things’ – Anonymous

Stress is common and even the happiest of people go through it so I know that this is only a phase. It just feels very strange to me since I don’t stress near as much as I used to, but I am proud of myself for that. The key for me is to just keep pushing forward, laugh everything off and smile the whole way through.

‘You want an elixir for life’s drama? Laugh!!’ – Robert W. Merriweather

Life isn’t meant to be easy, but that’s what makes me the stronger person I am today.

‘Yes, stress messes with your life. It messes with mine. However, that’s when you have to fight back. Fight back with everything you’ve got. Get mad then get even by finding a little bit of joy in the midst of your stress’

Indecision

I tend to be stuck in the dilemma of having to make a decision, even over the most simple choices and I find that even the simple ones are the hardest to make decisions over. It’s crazy! I’m sure a lot of you have trouble in deciding what to do whether it be a big or small issue.

Last night, I was feeling quite stressed over having to make the decision of whether or not I wanted to go to my first shift at a local pub. You know when your gut is just saying no and then you become unsure of what to do? Well I was going with my gut and decided not to go ahead with the shift. But before that decision was even made, throughout the whole day I could not decide whether to attend or not. Time was ticking and I had to let the employer know because they were expecting me.

You would think such a decision would be easy to make. I either wanted to go, or I didn’t. Seems simple enough. But then come the feelings of guilt, thinking I should at least give it a go before I decide I like the job or not. And just constantly in my head I just didn’t know what to do anymore. I was so frustrated in myself that I could not make the choice so easily. In the end, I made a very last minute call to the employer telling her I wasn’t going to attend but I felt so bad because I called when I was supposed to start my shift so I didn’t really give them much time to allow for what I decided. It was unfair on them and rude of me to be honest. But I just became so hesitant in going because I just wasn’t sure if working in a pub was for me. Enigma is great because it’s such a busy atmosphere during the course of the night and I’m around a lot of young people but when I went to these two joint pubs on Monday for an interview, I just didn’t feel it was for me. I didn’t feel it was the right atmosphere and it just didn’t seem to fit in.

It wasn’t my idea to apply for this work but a word was put in for me for this job because the place was looking for people. That is what makes me feel bad even more. Certain things aren’t for everyone but it would have been more courteous to have given the employer more notice. But because of indecision, I ended up making a hasty choice in the end which most likely has now come at a cost to the relationship between me and the employers, and I have possibly ruined any chance of being accepted by them if I do decide I want to try the job out.

I was required to work three hours last night for training and I don’t think it would have killed me to try it out and then make a decision based on how I found it. But I let what I felt and saw on Monday at each pub get to my decision. When I feel something isn’t for me and I’m not keen on it, whether or not I’ve even tried it, I become really hesitant because I don’t like to do something that turns out being a waste of my time. That’s what happened with the call centre job I was at last week. I got the job and wasn’t extremely excited because I had a feeling it wouldn’t be too productive based on what product I was working for and I turned out being right. The job was boring and unproductive. And I ended up quitting. I guess I let what happened there become the base of my decision not to work at the pub. It would have been an experience and something to put on a resume, but I can’t see myself working a bar on my own of a particular day and dealing with drunk, older customers who may make crude remarks towards me. That and the fact the pub may be quiet some days. I cannot handle being bored at work and having to try and find things to do that have already been done.

I still feel a little bad about it even though I felt it wasn’t for me. I feel like I have let my family and myself down for not giving it a go. Not only that, but the employers too. They were expecting me and had already gone through how the place works and used their time to get things sorted out for me, only for me to decide last minute not to attend.

Nothing can be done about it now, but it just goes to show that sometimes there is no win no matter what your gut is telling you. Mine said no and yet I still ended up feeling bad about it. That and the problem of indecision.

Not only in this instance, but I find sometimes I can’t decide on what to eat if I’m going out to lunch with my friends and we end up wasting time trying to decide what to do. I try and avoid it all costs now and end up just going with whatever my first thought tells me.

Indecision is frustrating and it’s always the most complicated when it’s over a simple choice, like food. After all, you either want to eat this certain thing or you don’t. You either want to do something or you don’t. Sounds simple enough, right?

Just laugh it off!

I’m pretty sure most of us have been through stressful times, whether minimal or extreme. And I’m pretty sure we have all been through a time where things are going really great for us and we’re really happy and some ‘one’ or some ‘people’ crap all over it and try and ruin it for us. When certain situations get us down we can change that mood in an instant! Since reading The Secret I have learned that you can have the choice to feel a certain way. YOU can choose the way you want to live your life and how you react to things. If you’re focusing on stressful situations and making yourself feel sad, then your going to constantly bring that negativity onto yourself. And if you want to feel happy it works the same way and you can change to that mood in an instant! I’m more than certain we would rather feel the latter. It is very true though. There is a lot of stress and hard times in this world but we can’t let it get to the point that we feel that there is no way out. We don’t have to feel sad about something if we don’t want to. Any situation, no matter how bad it may seem can be turned into a good one but it’s all up to YOU to turn it around.

I like to say that I’m more of a positive, open minded person these days but in the past when I’ve gone through terrible situations I have felt like it’s the end of the world, that there will be no solution and that the issue will never go away so I would keep focusing on it, bringing more misery into my life, taking things out on my loved ones and neglecting my needs. I know now that all of those feelings were unnecessary. Don’t get me wrong, of course we’re all allowed to feel sad and feel like crap at times, no day is ever perfect and we can’t expect it to be but  we shouldn’t have to make ourselves feel that way all the time. If you want to feel happy, you can change that immediately! Put on some good music – I recommend anything you can dance to because it gets your energy up, it’s good exercise and I can guarantee it will make you feel good straight away 🙂 It’s one of the things I love to do when I don’t want to focus on something that will stress me out. Go on a walk, a run, read a book or even go to your favourite place and just relax and write in a journal. Do whatever you know will put that smile on your face. There is ALWAYS something that will make you feel better. You’ve just got to find it and use it and you will turn that frown upside down!

A great thing that I’ve taken out from The Secret is to write a list of  ‘Secret Shifters’ down – these are things that make you feel better, things that make you laugh and feel happy. I have things included such as the beach because it’s one of my favourite places to be and somewhere I feel really calm, I have jokes between friends and I written down, my sister, my dad, things I like etc. These are all things that make me feel good. Different things you have on your list will shift your mood at different times so if you find that one of them doesn’t work, then move on to another. For example, thinking about the beach might not change my mood on one particular day but if I look at a joke between me and my friends, that is the primary thing that will make me feel better on that day. So it all depends but there is always something in that list that will lift your mood right up! So I recommend you all write a Secret Shifters list and keep it with you everywhere you go or somewhere you know you’ll always look at it.

But the most important point of all to stressful situations and to anyone who tries to bring you down is to just LAUGH IT OFF. There is nothing better than laughing about something that makes you sad. If you can’t do anything else, just laugh 🙂 It’s the best medicine after all, it makes us feel GOOD and everything seems so much easier and less of a problem. Whatever is going on in your life just disappears because you’re not focusing on the bad points. When it comes to people who are trying to get in your way, piss you off and bring you down for no good reason, just think to yourself, they are only trying to put you down for something they are lacking in their own lives and to feel better about themselves. So there is no point in feeling sad about it. In the end, they’re the ones who look like fools. WHO CARES! Laugh everything off  and the world will become a better place I can guarantee it 🙂

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