Europe 2012

It is has yet again been months since my last blog – I really need to keep my word when I say I will keep it up!! Anyway, I did mention that I would post a blog of all my travels in Europe, that being Paris, Greece and Germany. I won’t go into complete detail as my blog would be much too long but a summary and some photos of my wonderful trip should do the trick. Enjoy guys!

PARIS: JULY 2012

I had spent an overall wonderful 4 days in Paris with my sister. I can’t say my introduction to Paris was very welcoming though – French people cursed at me and bumped into me because I was ‘getting in their way’ and I was nearly getting chased down the street by a French beggar simply because I shook my head indicating I had nothing for him. Not only that, but the streets and main city of Paris is really overrated and not what everyone imagines it to be. I felt afraid and unsafe and getting lost for an hour trying to find out hotel didn’t make things any easier. On the upside though, the tourist attractions were beautiful, especially the Eiffel Tower and Champ Elysees.

arc de triomphe

eiffel tower

cafe

GREECE: AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2012 

Two weeks on the magnificent Greek Islands where there are clear waters, beautiful beaches and wonderful communities. Athens was an unsafe place to be but I’m glad my best friend and I had better impressions of Ios and Santorini. We both got really tanned and loved every minute of it! We both did a cliff jump which we at first were reluctant to do but we’re both glad we did it. We miss it so much and really want to go back again one day!

GERMANY: SEPTEMBER 2012

Germany is definitely one place in the world I fell in love with. I stayed with a pen pal of mine that I had met for the first time in the 9 years we had been writing to each other so it was a really exciting time for both of us. She showed me around the beautiful city she lives in called Potsdam and also took me around Berlin which I found to be a really clean city. 4 days wasn’t enough time to see it so next time I will have to make a longer trip!

I encourage everyone of you to travel, especially around Europe. There is much to see and you will have experiences that you will remember for life.

xxx

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A power sentence for each year of my life

1990  – I was born to the most amazing parents in the world, I would not be here today if it wasn’t for them!

1991 – My sister Sarah was born and despite all the fights we had as children, she has become my very best friend in the entire world.

1992 – I went on my first trip to the Philippines. I don’t remember it obviously but it’s amazing enough that I had gone overseas at such a young, tender age.

1993 -I really do not remember any big events that happened this year so I won’t be able to recall any.

1994 – I received my very first bike with training wheels from my brother. I loved riding around on that thing!

1995 – I was a flower girl with my sister for my auntie’s wedding in the Philippines. What an amazing experience that was and I felt honoured playing such an important part on her special day.

1996  – My first year of primary school. This was a very scary milestone in my life since I was so used to being around my mum all the time. I cried so much when she took me to school. I did not want to let her go! I also remember crying in class and my teacher was so good about it.

1997 -I celebrated my 7th birthday at McDonald’s which is where they used to run parties for children with games, cake and the like. It was such a huge and popular thing to do at my age back then. All children got psyched about it.

1998 – I moved from Thomas Chirnside Primary School to St. Andrew’s Catholic School. That’s where I met one of my first best friends who, sadly I have lost touch with and don’t see anymore.

1999 – I memorised a speech for the very first time that I presented in front of my class. That’s all thanks to my dad who taught me a lot.  Memorising that speech increased my public speaking skills and confidence that became extremely useful in my later school years.

2000 – I had my first family trip to the UK and America.  I missed a good three months of school because of it! But it was a great trip from what I remember.

2001 – The year of 9/11 and although this did not affect me personally, I do remember going to school that morning and seeing it all over the news. Such an extreme event to be exposed to at the age of 11.

2002 -I became one of the sports captains for my team ‘Padua’. This was a very proud moment for me as it taught me how to be a good leader.

2003 – I began secondary school at Mackillop Catholic Regional College and I missed my first two weeks because of being in the Philippines and I was nervous as it was. Everyone else in my class had settled in for that time! But Year 7 was not as hard as I made it out to be at all. It was almost like my last year of primary school!

2004 – Me and my family moved from our old address we had lived in for 9 years to a new double storey house not too far away. I still miss my old house though! It had the biggest garden.

2005 – I started my very first part time job in retail at a department store. I was there for 5 years.

2006 – I went to Japan for two weeks for a school trip. It is such an amazing country and I would love to go again. My favourite sights were Tokyo and the Hiroshima Bomb Dome site. I met the most amazing people there and the host family I stayed with treated me as their own.

2007 – My father passed away – I lost my best friend that year. He was my mentor and still is my hero and admiration. That was a very difficult time for me and to this day I still find it hard that he’s not around… We were very close and it was painful to lose someone so close to me at the age of 16. I do appreciate I was old enough to get to know him though.

2008 – I turned 18 and had the best party ever to celebrate it. Surprisingly enough, I did not have one drink that night. I was never into drinking until I turned 19. This is all feels like so long ago now.

2009 – I entered my first year of University and studied the Bachelor of Arts. I am very grateful for uni as I have made many lifelong friends from there.

2010 – I broke up with my first serious boyfriend of three years. I met him when I was 16 and experienced what it was like to be in love. I was very naive then. I thought I would be with him for life so this was a pretty hard year for me, one in which I really lost myself and had no direction in life.

2011 – I decided to make a change and let go of my past by going to the US in September and the UK in November, where I am still living now and plan to for a year. It was the best decision I ever made. I have learned so much and grown so much as a person. This is has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life!

2012 – It is still quite early into the year but I currently enjoy being in the UK and working at a local club where I have met some really awesome people. This year is the year to be all things different, and travel anywhere I possibly can! I love my life 🙂

I hope you enjoyed reading through the journey of my life so far. I can’t believe how fast time has flown over the years!

War of my life

‘Worry doesn’t help tomorrow’s troubles, but it does ruin today’s happiness’ – Anonymous

I’ve been somewhat stressed the past couple of days. I do accept that this is normal because not everyday is perfect. I’ve been feeling bad about not trying out the pub job I had a chance to experience and I’m really keen on getting a second job so I can keep busy and help my family financially. I’m frustrated I haven’t been able to find one, apart from the opportunity from the pub job I had. So it is making me feel a little lost and uncertain. I’m so happy I have a job at Enigma but I also want something with more hours and during the week, while my cousins are at school.

Not only has that been on my mind, but I’ve been over-thinking and looking into some things a little too much.

I also found out that the university I got into has deferred me until the wrong year; 2014 instead of 2013. I know it’s not the end of the world and it will all work out but I would be quite upset if they can’t change this to the correct year because I went through the process of applying for uni and getting it organised. It’s not a difficult process but I just don’t want to have to go through that again because of one minor error someone has made. I have emailed the university and have kindly asked them to change my deferral time to the correct year. All I need to do is wait on their response and the outcome.

I don’t like feeling stressed, as I can’t imagine anyone else would. It’s an uncomfortable feeling that leads you nowhere and only makes you worry unnecessarily. I know now how to deal with it better, since becoming a more optimistic person so I know what to focus on when I’m feeling like this. I have gone over my ‘Secret Shifter’s list which has helped and I have also listened to some upbeat music that made me feel like dancing.

‘It’s possible to forget how alive we really are. We can become dry and tired, just existing, instead of really living. We need to remind ourselves of the juice of life, and make that a habit. Find those places inside that jump for joy, and do things’ – Anonymous

Stress is common and even the happiest of people go through it so I know that this is only a phase. It just feels very strange to me since I don’t stress near as much as I used to, but I am proud of myself for that. The key for me is to just keep pushing forward, laugh everything off and smile the whole way through.

‘You want an elixir for life’s drama? Laugh!!’ – Robert W. Merriweather

Life isn’t meant to be easy, but that’s what makes me the stronger person I am today.

‘Yes, stress messes with your life. It messes with mine. However, that’s when you have to fight back. Fight back with everything you’ve got. Get mad then get even by finding a little bit of joy in the midst of your stress’

Ignorance is bliss

If someone tries to annoy me by attacking me and saying bad things about me to try and bring me down, I get so tempted to fire up and write horrible things back to defend myself and make that other person look bad.

Well what I’ve learned is that it’s not always necessary to fight back or try and reason with people because I see that as sinking to their level by bringing them down when they have done the same to you. Not only that, but if they are the ones who are angry and are adamant about their view of you as a person and reasons against you it’s pretty obvious they could care less about what you have to say back if you plan to write an essay of a reply. A lot of people also want the attention and expect you to reply as well, even though they won’t care about what you have to say. That’s why I believe in doing the opposite of what they expect because ignorance is bliss! People will be shocked and pissed off when they realise that you are not giving them the time of day.

By responding, you are also opening the line of communication between you and that person and you are allowing them a reason to respond, and possibly say even worse things back to you. It’s not worth the drama and it’s too much energy to fight back. Sometimes the best thing to say, is to say nothing at all. As long as you don’t let people bring you down and you know you’re right, at least you’re being the bigger person. Make them look like the fools for wasting their time on you!

I am number one.

I’ve been reading The Secret lately and for those of you who don’t know it it’s a self-help book about the teachings and understandings of life and how you can change your life by using positive thinking. It’s a good read if you need to find yourself or grow in some way.

One aspect of The Secret that captures me the most is the teaching of attending to your own joy first rather than of others. In this particular section which is known as ‘The Secret to Relationships’ The Secret states that most of us have been taught to put ourselves last and as a result we attract feelings of being unworthy and undeserving. I’m sure a lot of us have been in this situation where we feel we should put others first in order to make them happy even if it is at a cost of our own happiness. We have this thought in our minds that as long as that other person is happy, then that’s all that matters. Before now, I would constantly put others before me. One example in particular when it comes to my friends, if one friend wanted to see me one afternoon but I had also planned to see a friend in that same afternoon I would try and fit both in so I wouldn’t let any of them down. Even though it was a lot of pressure and stress on me and would mean I would have to rush in seeing each friend, it didn’t matter as long as they were both happy. At the end of the day though, true friends will understand if something else has come up and you are unable to catch up with them. They will be happy to reschedule for another time. I did the same thing with my ex boyfriend after we broke up. If I had planned something for myself or with my friends and sister too, I would always put him first because there was this constant desire to make him happy and keep me in his good books so he’d always know I’d do whatever it took to make him happy, even though he didn’t treat me the way I wanted to be treated. But at the time it didn’t matter about me or anyone else, as much as I hate to say it now. It’s not worth losing friends over or becoming distant with them when they become sick of the fact you are constantly making yourself unhappy. If any of you have been in this situation you would know the feeling. You become so consumed in making this one person happy that you begin to neglect your own wants and needs.

So in saying that, is it really worth putting someone first at the cost of your own self worth and happiness? Personally, I think not at all. The Secret states that you need to attend to your joy first before others otherwise you are never going to feel good about yourself and you are allowing yourself to be treated badly by others and make it look like it’s okay for someone else to treat you that way. And who wants that for themselves? After months of acting this way, I know now never to risk my own happiness at the cost of somebody else especially if they are not worth it and don’t give as much back to you as you give to them. Joy comes from within, and we are all responsible for our own joy. People around us can contribute to our happiness but the joy comes from within ourselves. If we feel joy and feel good about ourselves you become good company to be around and others around you will feed off that joy and treat you the same way back, and this is because you are being happy within yourself, not because of someone else.

I don’t know about any of you, but I used to feel I needed someone to tell me I’m beautiful and tell me I’m a good person in order to believe that I am. But it doesn’t work that way. If we are relying on what other people tell us to convince ourselves we must be a certain way, that isn’t loving yourself, that isn’t being happy within yourself. It shows that you are insecure and lacking confidence in some way so you need other people to remind you of the good things about yourself. If you don’t love you and you are not happy within yourself, you are never going to feel good so no one is going to see and feel the good in you.  Be kind to yourself, know that you are a good person and tell yourself that everyday. A good friend of mine once told me to look in the mirror and tell myself  ‘Am I spunk or what?’ And it’s not silly to tell yourself that at all because you deserve to feel good within yourself in order to be happy each and everyday. Remember that YOU are the most important person in this world and never forget it!

Not only in situations when it comes to ex boyfriends, but in any situation where you are putting someone else before yourself and it makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, just say NO and don’t go ahead with it if you feel uneasy and not good within yourself. Because it’s really not worth the result of being unhappy in the end. People will respect you more if they know you’re not always going to be at their beck and call. If you ever have any doubts just remember this quote: ‘Saying no to others, means saying yes to you’. Do you know you’re number one? I know I sure am.

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