Connections with the ones you haven’t met

One of my fellow bloggers inspired me to write this blog – a very beautiful, pure and happy person who has such a huge drive for life that absolutely amazes me.

I don’t know her very well at all, she lives on the other side of the world and I’ve never met her but it’s amazing how closely you can connect with someone who appears to be so similar to you based on your own life experiences and how you see the world.

I just want to say to all of my fellow bloggers out there, thank you all for having an impact on my life and for sharing your views on the world that give me a different, if not better, perspective of my own world. You all touch my life in ways words can’t even describe!

xxx

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Just laugh it off!

I’m pretty sure most of us have been through stressful times, whether minimal or extreme. And I’m pretty sure we have all been through a time where things are going really great for us and we’re really happy and some ‘one’ or some ‘people’ crap all over it and try and ruin it for us. When certain situations get us down we can change that mood in an instant! Since reading The Secret I have learned that you can have the choice to feel a certain way. YOU can choose the way you want to live your life and how you react to things. If you’re focusing on stressful situations and making yourself feel sad, then your going to constantly bring that negativity onto yourself. And if you want to feel happy it works the same way and you can change to that mood in an instant! I’m more than certain we would rather feel the latter. It is very true though. There is a lot of stress and hard times in this world but we can’t let it get to the point that we feel that there is no way out. We don’t have to feel sad about something if we don’t want to. Any situation, no matter how bad it may seem can be turned into a good one but it’s all up to YOU to turn it around.

I like to say that I’m more of a positive, open minded person these days but in the past when I’ve gone through terrible situations I have felt like it’s the end of the world, that there will be no solution and that the issue will never go away so I would keep focusing on it, bringing more misery into my life, taking things out on my loved ones and neglecting my needs. I know now that all of those feelings were unnecessary. Don’t get me wrong, of course we’re all allowed to feel sad and feel like crap at times, no day is ever perfect and we can’t expect it to be but  we shouldn’t have to make ourselves feel that way all the time. If you want to feel happy, you can change that immediately! Put on some good music – I recommend anything you can dance to because it gets your energy up, it’s good exercise and I can guarantee it will make you feel good straight away 🙂 It’s one of the things I love to do when I don’t want to focus on something that will stress me out. Go on a walk, a run, read a book or even go to your favourite place and just relax and write in a journal. Do whatever you know will put that smile on your face. There is ALWAYS something that will make you feel better. You’ve just got to find it and use it and you will turn that frown upside down!

A great thing that I’ve taken out from The Secret is to write a list of  ‘Secret Shifters’ down – these are things that make you feel better, things that make you laugh and feel happy. I have things included such as the beach because it’s one of my favourite places to be and somewhere I feel really calm, I have jokes between friends and I written down, my sister, my dad, things I like etc. These are all things that make me feel good. Different things you have on your list will shift your mood at different times so if you find that one of them doesn’t work, then move on to another. For example, thinking about the beach might not change my mood on one particular day but if I look at a joke between me and my friends, that is the primary thing that will make me feel better on that day. So it all depends but there is always something in that list that will lift your mood right up! So I recommend you all write a Secret Shifters list and keep it with you everywhere you go or somewhere you know you’ll always look at it.

But the most important point of all to stressful situations and to anyone who tries to bring you down is to just LAUGH IT OFF. There is nothing better than laughing about something that makes you sad. If you can’t do anything else, just laugh 🙂 It’s the best medicine after all, it makes us feel GOOD and everything seems so much easier and less of a problem. Whatever is going on in your life just disappears because you’re not focusing on the bad points. When it comes to people who are trying to get in your way, piss you off and bring you down for no good reason, just think to yourself, they are only trying to put you down for something they are lacking in their own lives and to feel better about themselves. So there is no point in feeling sad about it. In the end, they’re the ones who look like fools. WHO CARES! Laugh everything off  and the world will become a better place I can guarantee it 🙂

A whole new world

Okay so it’s been just over a week since I last blogged… it got to the point where I was having blogging withdrawals because it feels so normal of my routine now but not to worry! I will be catching up on all my missed days, even if I cover them briefly. So last time I left off from last Tuesday, the 4th of October so this blog will be following from Wednesday October 5. That day was to be very exciting because my auntie planned for me and her to go to LA and stay with family friends up there. Although I was excited, I was stressing a little because it was planned so last minute and I had nothing ready! I was in bed until about midday that day because I was pretty tired and to honest, a little tipsy from the night out with my neighbour the night before so I was feeling very apathetic. But I knew we were to leave later that afternoon so that motivated me to jump in the shower and get ready to go! How could I feel lazy for a trip to LA right? LOL. Crazy girl! So the excitement really started to kick in once I had got dressed and got my things ready. I must admit, due to being a woman, it was a struggle to pack a week’s worth of clothing and basic necessities into an overnight bag because I tend to over pack but I managed to do it!

My uncle dropped my auntie and I off to the bus/rail station at around 4:30pm because my auntie and I were catching a bus from downtown San Francisco to the train station for a changeover on to the Amtrak service for a 6 hour trip, only to change over again to another bus for the remaining 2 hours to LA. My auntie and I were very lucky to get the train because 5:15pm was the last service and thanks to the really nice gentleman working at the ticket box, he manged to fit us in. I don’t want to blab on too much about everything that happened in detail because I’m sure you will lose interest quickly and I would rather get to the point.

The train was really great, it was two levels and had tables, food etc like you’re on a plane. It was awesome! Within that 6 hours of the train ride, I came across a man who approached me, asking me where I was headed. I told him LA and he was headed to San Diego and from there going to Mexico and from that point on we talked the whole trip! I found this man really fascinating. He’s a writer for books and screenplays and he does it for a living! But not one of his pieces have ever been published or used in productions. But he’s okay with it because he makes a living out of it! He mentioned he contributed to the research of the film: ‘A beautiful mind’ with Russell Crowe which is one of my favourite films. I could tell that this man was very intelligent and had a lot to say for himself and he really captured me because I love to write and read myself, but preferably the latter. I liked him because he’s a traveller too and he has been travelling since he was 15. I find that so amazing that he started at such a young age and still continues to do it into his near 60’s. We talked about life, dreams and goals. He gave me some good advice on some things as we exchanged some of our live stories, he also recommended for me to read a book about reincarnation because he gave me a really interesting prospect about it. He was hypnotised by an author of this book called ‘Life after life’ and he told me that when he was under he was speaking a totally different language and going back to a different time where he could speak this language. I found it fascinating because how could you speak another language so fluently if you don’t even know it in this lifetime? That made me wonder and became interested in reading this book. I felt like this man was my mentor in a way and I had only met him on this trip! He gave me great life advice, and inspired me to sing because it’s what I love to do. He also said I had a unique look about me which I felt great about and appreciated his compliment. Anyway, he invited me auntie and I to come visit him in Mexico because he lives in a beach house up there with his partner and it only cost him $50, 000! I didn’t know Mexico was that cheap! And omg oops, having verbal diarrhea right now when I said I wouldn’t go on lol. Don’t fret, after this it will be much more brief 🙂

So I was in LA until Tuesday and had an amazing time! I went to Vegas while I was there for two days, fit some shopping in and for those of you girls who love cheap stores (I couldn’t imagine who wouldn’t) go to Forever 21 if you ever come to America. They have the best clothes there and they are really cheap! The store I went to was HUGE! I could have been in there for hours! I didn’t know where to start! Amongst doing all that, I went to Disneyland and Universal Studios which were both really great experiences. I love travelling the world, meeting new people and experiencing life. There is so much out there in this beautiful world and I learn something new everyday here. Since day 1, I am still enjoying my trip more than ever and do not want to go back home! I’m so happy here!

And this is me at Univeral Studios with Alex from Madagascar 🙂

I am number one.

I’ve been reading The Secret lately and for those of you who don’t know it it’s a self-help book about the teachings and understandings of life and how you can change your life by using positive thinking. It’s a good read if you need to find yourself or grow in some way.

One aspect of The Secret that captures me the most is the teaching of attending to your own joy first rather than of others. In this particular section which is known as ‘The Secret to Relationships’ The Secret states that most of us have been taught to put ourselves last and as a result we attract feelings of being unworthy and undeserving. I’m sure a lot of us have been in this situation where we feel we should put others first in order to make them happy even if it is at a cost of our own happiness. We have this thought in our minds that as long as that other person is happy, then that’s all that matters. Before now, I would constantly put others before me. One example in particular when it comes to my friends, if one friend wanted to see me one afternoon but I had also planned to see a friend in that same afternoon I would try and fit both in so I wouldn’t let any of them down. Even though it was a lot of pressure and stress on me and would mean I would have to rush in seeing each friend, it didn’t matter as long as they were both happy. At the end of the day though, true friends will understand if something else has come up and you are unable to catch up with them. They will be happy to reschedule for another time. I did the same thing with my ex boyfriend after we broke up. If I had planned something for myself or with my friends and sister too, I would always put him first because there was this constant desire to make him happy and keep me in his good books so he’d always know I’d do whatever it took to make him happy, even though he didn’t treat me the way I wanted to be treated. But at the time it didn’t matter about me or anyone else, as much as I hate to say it now. It’s not worth losing friends over or becoming distant with them when they become sick of the fact you are constantly making yourself unhappy. If any of you have been in this situation you would know the feeling. You become so consumed in making this one person happy that you begin to neglect your own wants and needs.

So in saying that, is it really worth putting someone first at the cost of your own self worth and happiness? Personally, I think not at all. The Secret states that you need to attend to your joy first before others otherwise you are never going to feel good about yourself and you are allowing yourself to be treated badly by others and make it look like it’s okay for someone else to treat you that way. And who wants that for themselves? After months of acting this way, I know now never to risk my own happiness at the cost of somebody else especially if they are not worth it and don’t give as much back to you as you give to them. Joy comes from within, and we are all responsible for our own joy. People around us can contribute to our happiness but the joy comes from within ourselves. If we feel joy and feel good about ourselves you become good company to be around and others around you will feed off that joy and treat you the same way back, and this is because you are being happy within yourself, not because of someone else.

I don’t know about any of you, but I used to feel I needed someone to tell me I’m beautiful and tell me I’m a good person in order to believe that I am. But it doesn’t work that way. If we are relying on what other people tell us to convince ourselves we must be a certain way, that isn’t loving yourself, that isn’t being happy within yourself. It shows that you are insecure and lacking confidence in some way so you need other people to remind you of the good things about yourself. If you don’t love you and you are not happy within yourself, you are never going to feel good so no one is going to see and feel the good in you.  Be kind to yourself, know that you are a good person and tell yourself that everyday. A good friend of mine once told me to look in the mirror and tell myself  ‘Am I spunk or what?’ And it’s not silly to tell yourself that at all because you deserve to feel good within yourself in order to be happy each and everyday. Remember that YOU are the most important person in this world and never forget it!

Not only in situations when it comes to ex boyfriends, but in any situation where you are putting someone else before yourself and it makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, just say NO and don’t go ahead with it if you feel uneasy and not good within yourself. Because it’s really not worth the result of being unhappy in the end. People will respect you more if they know you’re not always going to be at their beck and call. If you ever have any doubts just remember this quote: ‘Saying no to others, means saying yes to you’. Do you know you’re number one? I know I sure am.

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