Gym junkie to be?

Thanks to my awesome friend Lisa, I have started to get into gym and exercise again. We went to the Genisis Health Suite at The Palace Hotel in Paignton and at first, I was so nervous, we both were, since it was our first session. I was worried about people paying attention and watching me, which I’ve heard is not the case since everyone is doing their own thing and are all there for a reason.

It turns out that I felt so good after it and I didn’t care so much what others were thinking. I did the cross trainer, row machine, treadmill and some sit ups. I could have done more of those if I didn’t work so hard on the cross trainer! At least it was a good hour spent in the gym.

Following that, Lisa and I used the pool which was really relaxing and refreshing after the workout. It was good to get in there! We also took advantage of the spa 🙂

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Thank goodness I got to go today because not only am I motivated and driven to go the gym more, but it has made me motivated to start running again since I have missed months of running for the time I’ve been here so it will be good to get into that again.

The only dilemma I have with the gym is the next time I go, I need to be a member and at the moment, I don’t have the funds to join for any of the membership deals. This is where a second job needs to come in! As soon as that is sorted I’ll be on it! For now, I hope Lisa will be fine without a gym buddy for the moment.

I feel so good after today!!

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A power sentence for each year of my life

1990  – I was born to the most amazing parents in the world, I would not be here today if it wasn’t for them!

1991 – My sister Sarah was born and despite all the fights we had as children, she has become my very best friend in the entire world.

1992 – I went on my first trip to the Philippines. I don’t remember it obviously but it’s amazing enough that I had gone overseas at such a young, tender age.

1993 -I really do not remember any big events that happened this year so I won’t be able to recall any.

1994 – I received my very first bike with training wheels from my brother. I loved riding around on that thing!

1995 – I was a flower girl with my sister for my auntie’s wedding in the Philippines. What an amazing experience that was and I felt honoured playing such an important part on her special day.

1996  – My first year of primary school. This was a very scary milestone in my life since I was so used to being around my mum all the time. I cried so much when she took me to school. I did not want to let her go! I also remember crying in class and my teacher was so good about it.

1997 -I celebrated my 7th birthday at McDonald’s which is where they used to run parties for children with games, cake and the like. It was such a huge and popular thing to do at my age back then. All children got psyched about it.

1998 – I moved from Thomas Chirnside Primary School to St. Andrew’s Catholic School. That’s where I met one of my first best friends who, sadly I have lost touch with and don’t see anymore.

1999 – I memorised a speech for the very first time that I presented in front of my class. That’s all thanks to my dad who taught me a lot.  Memorising that speech increased my public speaking skills and confidence that became extremely useful in my later school years.

2000 – I had my first family trip to the UK and America.  I missed a good three months of school because of it! But it was a great trip from what I remember.

2001 – The year of 9/11 and although this did not affect me personally, I do remember going to school that morning and seeing it all over the news. Such an extreme event to be exposed to at the age of 11.

2002 -I became one of the sports captains for my team ‘Padua’. This was a very proud moment for me as it taught me how to be a good leader.

2003 – I began secondary school at Mackillop Catholic Regional College and I missed my first two weeks because of being in the Philippines and I was nervous as it was. Everyone else in my class had settled in for that time! But Year 7 was not as hard as I made it out to be at all. It was almost like my last year of primary school!

2004 – Me and my family moved from our old address we had lived in for 9 years to a new double storey house not too far away. I still miss my old house though! It had the biggest garden.

2005 – I started my very first part time job in retail at a department store. I was there for 5 years.

2006 – I went to Japan for two weeks for a school trip. It is such an amazing country and I would love to go again. My favourite sights were Tokyo and the Hiroshima Bomb Dome site. I met the most amazing people there and the host family I stayed with treated me as their own.

2007 – My father passed away – I lost my best friend that year. He was my mentor and still is my hero and admiration. That was a very difficult time for me and to this day I still find it hard that he’s not around… We were very close and it was painful to lose someone so close to me at the age of 16. I do appreciate I was old enough to get to know him though.

2008 – I turned 18 and had the best party ever to celebrate it. Surprisingly enough, I did not have one drink that night. I was never into drinking until I turned 19. This is all feels like so long ago now.

2009 – I entered my first year of University and studied the Bachelor of Arts. I am very grateful for uni as I have made many lifelong friends from there.

2010 – I broke up with my first serious boyfriend of three years. I met him when I was 16 and experienced what it was like to be in love. I was very naive then. I thought I would be with him for life so this was a pretty hard year for me, one in which I really lost myself and had no direction in life.

2011 – I decided to make a change and let go of my past by going to the US in September and the UK in November, where I am still living now and plan to for a year. It was the best decision I ever made. I have learned so much and grown so much as a person. This is has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life!

2012 – It is still quite early into the year but I currently enjoy being in the UK and working at a local club where I have met some really awesome people. This year is the year to be all things different, and travel anywhere I possibly can! I love my life 🙂

I hope you enjoyed reading through the journey of my life so far. I can’t believe how fast time has flown over the years!

New outfits and all sorts

Don’t you just love it when you manage to pull off an outfit you wouldn’t think would suit you? I find that this always seems to happen when I am out shopping with a friend and they end up picking something out for me that I would normally turn a blind eye to.

On the weekend, I went into Torquay to find an outfit for my work Christmas party on the Sunday that just passed. My friend Crissy came with me and she basically picked my whole outfit! I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for because I didn’t know how dressy I wanted to look but after walking through H&M she discovered a very bright orange zip skirt. Now normally, I wouldn’t wear orange at all but I was convinced to try it on with a black tank top and it all came together quite well! It was a good find and I would have never have bought that if I was on my own. I think we get this idea in our heads that we wouldn’t suit something that we don’t usually wear because we
get scared that we won’t be able to pull it off. A bit of encourgement from a friend goes a long. They seem to pick out things that they can see on you so you trust their judgement.

The outfit was a great success and I loved how it all came together. It was lucky I had Crissy with me to pick out my outfit otherwise I never would have thought of it!

A bump in the road

I missed out on my daily blog for yesterday which I am a little disappointed about however, I am not going to make a habit of it.

Yesterday and part of today were tough. I woke up late as usual on a Sunday since I work late every Saturday night and even though I try all efforts in waking up by at least eleven or twelve, I always manage to sleep in until 2:30pm to make sure I have completely recovered from such a busy shift.

I have been feeling homesick over the past week but yesterday it really seemed to hit hard. There are certain triggers that start it off such as not being able to drive knowing I can drive, not catching up with work friends enough, seeing my cousins together as sisters knowing I can’t be with my own (as beautiful as it is to see my cousin’s together) to name a few.

I had isolated myself in my room until lunchtime today and I had not eaten for 30 hours. I felt so hungry at first, but then I felt OK. My body was used to it. I guess I just wanted to be on my own and only speak with my loved ones back home. It was nothing against my family here but I wasn’t ready to face up to them yet about anything going on. They were all extremely worried and tried to get me to come out for food but to no avail.

I did get to speak to my best friend Louise over skype and we both got pretty emotional, but it was good to hear her voice. It was comforting. She reminded me that even though we are so far apart and really wish we were with each other, she knows that I had to take this trip and experience it for what it is.

When I finally let my family in this morning, I had a good chat with my auntie and we sorted everything out. I felt so bad for worrying them but I just wanted to get passed what I was feeling. My auntie felt like she had done something wrong but I reassured her that it wasn’t anything to do with her at all.

I also got to speak to my beautiful sister on skype and that also helped my day get off to a bright start 🙂

It was also good to get some food into me and have a nice hot shower.

My cousins were so pleased I was feeling more myself. Now I write this with no intention of attention seeking or pity because I never like to portray that idea despite my down days. I have always believed in being honest through this blog and this is my only goal here. I express only the truth. And I tell it like it is.

I am feeling much better apart from the fact I may have given myself a sore throat from having no food or drink yesterday but that’s my own fault.

Homesickness is completely normal and I know I was bound to feel this way at some point. Once I get a day job and do more social things, I will start to feel homesick less and less.

I have been invited out clubbing on Friday, I have my work Christmas Party next Friday and I will be going to London for a weekend next month and will be staying with my cousin so a lot will be happening!

England I won’t give up on you!

New friends

I love people. I love making new friends, especially overseas while I’m far far away from my beautiful friends back home. To all of you wonderful people who I have met in America and the UK, you know who you are. Thank you for being so welcoming to me, for talking to me and making me laugh. This is definitely what I need when I’m so far from home. I love how we get along and I know we will get closer as time goes on. You are all wonderful!

– Kathy
xxx

Like me crazy

There are millions of fanatics when it comes to Facebook. I was convinced to create a Facebook account in my senior secondary school years and back then I had no idea how it worked! It wasn’t as popular as it is now and I’m sure it has had many more users since then.

I must admit, Facebook is pretty addictive and it is one of the very few reasons that I am up so late at night, as pathetic as that is to say. It is such an obsession at times! But the thing is, I know I can live without it. I have deactivated my account a few times before and found that I had more time to focus on more important things and I got so used to being without it that I forgot it existed. The last time I deactivated my account was last August and I only got it back because I’m away travelling so I need my friends and family to know what’s going and on and keep them updated on my journey overseas.

I personally think that Facebook’s whole idea has been abused extremely. People use it as an attention seeking tool, it’s used to bully others, display foul images and there is this whole idea that everyone has to update their status on every thing that they do, even things that are so unnecessary so that people are updated at every moment of what’s going on. Facebook is that common to people that if someone doesn’t have an account, it’s as if you’re looked down upon and it’s not normal to be without it.

People have this idea that they need all these likes and comments on everything they post and are committed to making sure they don’t miss a thing on Facebook. I have been there.

What irritates me is that people can post some really disturbing and unnecessary information on Facebook, information that I wouldn’t want people knowing if it was about myself. It baffles me at times. And it has got to the point that I have even hidden notifications of news feed’s of people that I just don’t want to read about because it’s the same thing all the time.

Another thing is Facebook friends. Last year I deleted about half of my list from over 600 and I’m now down to 300 or so because I didn’t even know most of the people I had in that list and when I thought about it, I didn’t want complete randoms knowing my personal information. Don’t get me wrong, out of the three hundred or so people I have in my friends list, I don’t know every single one of them personally and I think it would be almost impossible to have a friends list in the hundred’s where you know every single one of that one hundred really well. Just saying. Some people have this constant desire to have as many friends as possible to have a bigger friends list.

Apart from that, Facebook can create so much drama and a lot of things are exaggerated when posted up on there. I honestly get sick of reading some things on Facebook that are completely lame and not helpful to anyone. Each to their own I suppose, but I think Facebook is liked a little bit too much.

A new year begins. Happy 2012!

I am back after a week without blogging. Talk about what a busy weekend I had! Visiting family who live 5 hours away and briefly being in London for an afternoon tea. All of that really does make up for the fact I haven’t been able to attend to my love of writing.

May I just say, HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone! May you all have a successful 2012. I still can’t believe it is the new year. 2011 went by so fast for me and before you know it, it will be the end of 2012 and my year trip in the UK will be nearing to an end. I don’t want to think about it! So I’m going to make the most of this year being in this beautiful country.

2011 was a pretty rough year for me and it’s safe to say it’s all over and in my past now, minus the good moments I’ve also had in that year of course. I’d like to think this year will be different and I’m sure it will be in many ways. I have so much ahead of me in the UK and when I return home. As I always have, I will take each day as it comes and live every day with happiness and accept that there are bad times that I know I will be able to push through whenever I come across them.

I’m not sure if many of you set a new year’s resolution but I never have mainly because I’ve never seen the need to considering I set life goals anyway. I also feel there is a lot of pressure in aiming for a new year’s resolution because you do need to achieve it in that year whereas life goals are ongoing. My friend Amiee recently posted a blog about not having a new year’s resolution but a life one; of living in happiness and love deeply, which I think is really beautiful and to me, I see that as she will live by that every year and not have to set a new resolution every time. I like her way of thinking and I believe I follow that same perspective too. As long as I can feel and be happy as much as I can each and everyday, then I don’t need to set any new year resolution. I just need to take things with a grain of salt and let the universe take care of the rest.

I must admit, I was in a very strange mood leading up to the new year. Visiting family and having to work on New Year’s Eve made me miss my family and home a lot and it did get me down, especially today. This is the first new year I’m without them and it is hard knowing I’m not with the people I care about and who care about me. Don’t get me wrong, I still had a great New Year’s Eve and I don’t mind that I was working because I was surrounded by music and a lot of positive and fun energy. It felt like I was out clubbing which is what I would have been doing if I was back home or if I had organised it here if I wasn’t working. It was hard not being around my friends too because I did feel a little out of place at times when I was at work, and that’s probably because I haven’t made enough connections with some of my work friends to get to know them better.

Feeling a little stressed out and sad reminds of the person I was in 2011 and it’s somewhere I don’t ever want to go back to, but I accept that it is okay to feel a little sad, stressed and home sick and this is just what being away from family, travelling for a long time is all about. I know this phase once again will soon be over. I’m going to make 2012 one of the best year’s of my life! One to never forget!

I wish you all the happiness and success in the world for 2012. Follow your dreams and live life to the full.
Make this year count. Make it the best
one yet.

All my love,

Kathy
xxx

A blissful life

So things are once again looking up. As you know, it has been a slightly stressful week because of feeling homesick and feeling guilty about not taking the pub job but it’s safe to say that the stressful phase has passed like I knew it would. And I’m over the fact I rejected the pub job because I realised that it just wouldn’t be for me.

The weekend put me in such a good mood. On Friday I went to Torquay which is by such a beautiful sea front. I took some photos there. And I also fit in some shopping and managed to find myself a bargain!

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I bought this beautiful baby for only £4.40 (roughly 6 bucks) thanks to 20% off the original price AND a £10 off voucher. It’s in my favourite colour too 🙂 SCORE!

Work at Enigma tonight was so much fun like last weekend. The energy was amazing and I met some new friendly faces and it made me feel even more comfortable than I already was. I love my job 🙂

I also love spending time with my two little cousins who I absolutely adore. They keep me going by rushing around after them and playing with them. I love them so much.

Life can only get better and no words can really describe how immensely happy I am. I just feel so free and vibrant. I don’t mind if some people are bothered by it because I go on about it. Everyone deserves to be and feel happy. Why wouldn’t you want the world to know?

True friends

Last night I had a farewell party with friends and family because I’m leaving for the UK tomorrow to live and work for a year.

The great thing about having these kind of parties like birthdays as well, is that they show who your true friends are and show the people who want to be there for you and see you. Friends I had not seen in a year or more showed up, one of them bringing me a gift that I did not even expect! And it was like nothing had changed and that no time had passed between us since we last saw each other. It was very sweet.

It wasn’t a huge crowd but I know the friends that did show up are the ones who are true to me and wanted to catch up with me before I leave. Some only stayed for half an hour and it was just so great to have them there for that time.

One of my friends who I only properly talked to at a birthday came to my party to see me and we never even hung out all that much prior and it meant so much to me she was there to spend time with me.

I got a few other going away presents which wasn’t necessary but so kind of my friends. I got a beautiful butterfly necklace, a travel wallet which will really come in handy and was what I needed, a compass which was a sentimental gift so I would always know what direction home is and I also got the ‘Eat Pray Love’ book, a travel journal and photo album. Today, one of my best friends called me to tell me she ordered flowers that were to be delivered at my place because she couldn’t make it to my farewell party last night. It was the sweetest thought ever and I was so touched by it. She went to so much trouble to organise that for me. Unfortunately the flowers have not been delivered today like they were meant to be which is a little disappointing from the deliverer’s end but I have hope they will somehow appear tomorrow.

Today and last night really made me see who my true friends are and how much I appreciate them. I think sometimes I do take having such good friends for granted but they really do mean a lot to me and I appreciate them very much. I’m so grateful and blessed to have them in my life because it’s really hard to find true friends these days.

I’m really going to miss them when I’m away…

To any of my friends who have read this blog, you know who you are and thank you so much for being in my life and for being the amazing, supportive, kind, caring and generous souls that you are. I love you all very much and you will always have a very special place in my heart.

Journey to self-discovery

There comes a point in your life where you don’t know who you are, where you want to be, what your long and short term goals are and the like. You’re at a stand still, not going forward nor backward. Just still, immobile and going nowhere. I believe this is very common in the adolescent years because it is a time you’re at the age where you’re still trying to find yourself and trying to find out who you really are and what you really want out of life. What a whole load of confusion!

Over the past 6 weeks or so I have only just figured out who I am and want I want in life. I also have short and long term goals that I never thought I would have created until now.

From previous blog posts, namely ‘I am number one’ and ‘Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional’ I talk about a break up I went through. And of course it is a very typical story where there are worse cases of that situation which is why I don’t like to play the victim role and I have stopped feeling sorry for myself. The point I’m trying to get at is, is that it was a time where I really lost myself  for awhile and I had nothing left. My whole identity had been stripped away from me. I was emotionally broken. When I was in that position I never felt like I could get out of it because I was constantly putting myself into that situation and making it worse on myself when I knew it wasn’t healthy for me. But you can’t help how you feel sometimes and those feelings are bound to happen. I knew I needed to get out of that vicious cycle though.

My main escape or way of healing and becoming myself again was to travel – getting away to see different places and different people. Just constantly being surrounded by something different every day. It was also good to break out of routine at home too.

This traveling I’ve done so far has already paid off! I am so happy and I absolutely love life. I am so grateful I have had the chance to have a lot of time to myself to figure out what I want out of life, who I am, what I deserve and where I want to be. It’s such a good feeling knowing you’ve reached that point and from there you know you can conquer anything. I wake up everyday appreciating my life and I’m excited for what is to come. I treat every day as an adventure and just take everything as it comes.

I’m a much better friend because I can freely give advice without having to focus so much on what my problems were. Rather than being so consumed and constantly relying on my friends to make things better, I now feel strong enough to be there for my friends completely. And they seem to take in my advice more now that they can see I’m focusing on them when they need me.

Today I caught up with a good friend of mine for lunch and we had a really great catch up. I was laughing and talking so strongly and happily. I kept telling myself that I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt this happy. I usually would see my friends as a distraction from my problems but now that I’m not consumed by them, nor do I care for them I can actually catch up with my friends without that need to see them because I’m stressed out. I am genuinely happy and just talk so freely about things. I looked in the mirror when I got home and just gave a massive smile to myself for how far I’ve come in 6 weeks. I have really grown.

I have found out so many things about myself and I have learned to love myself again and feel happy. Days aren’t a struggle any more, simple tasks aren’t an effort like they used to be. I just feel so free and happy within myself that I can’t imagine going back to the person I used to be. It’s really hard for me to be negative these days because I don’t like to be any more. It’s a waste of emotion that only brings me down and I don’t need that. I have finally learned that choosing to feel happy is the much better and healthier option.

I love the fact that I have been traveling to help me find myself again. It’s what I really needed. My good friend actually mentioned a valid point and told me ‘don’t associate the happiness with the place, but within yourself’ and that’s a great point because he was trying to say I shouldn’t just feel happy because I’m away, that’s just what I needed to get me there but once I come back home, I’ll still feel happy. That has not changed at all since being home so I’m glad I haven’t associated my happiness with being away. It’s great I’ve had a head start in traveling on my own and getting some time to myself before I go to the UK for a year where things will be a lot more challenging. But I’m up for the ride and I have already achieved so much through traveling already, just imagine what the UK will do for me. This journey to self-discovery still continues!

I know people who are in this situation where they don’t care about themselves and life in general so they just let every day pass by them like it’s meaningless. It makes me sad and frustrated that people neglect their needs and not care about anything in life. Taking care of your appearance isn’t an issue any more and you eat and drink whatever you please until your belly explodes! And you gain those few extra kilo’s making yourself look and feel physically unhealthy. Now that I’ve gone passed that stage, I help those who are in that situation and motivate them to get themselves out of it because anything is possible and there is no such thing as a hopeless situation (referring to The Secret once again). You can change your life to the way you want to live it. I know it’s a hard place to get out of which is why it takes some time and patience until you realise it’s not where you’re meant to be. For those of you who are feeling really low at the moment because you’re going through a really hard time in your life, please don’t give up hope because you will be happy again and there will be something you choose to take up in in your life that will make you realise who you are again and that life is too short to be miserable. We’re all allowed to feel down at times which is completely normal but you don’t need to constantly put yourself in that situation. Things may seem really hard at the time, but they do get better. You just need to take one step at a time. That’s all it takes.

Just believe in yourself. You can do this. If I got there then so can you!

 

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