A power sentence for each year of my life

1990  – I was born to the most amazing parents in the world, I would not be here today if it wasn’t for them!

1991 – My sister Sarah was born and despite all the fights we had as children, she has become my very best friend in the entire world.

1992 – I went on my first trip to the Philippines. I don’t remember it obviously but it’s amazing enough that I had gone overseas at such a young, tender age.

1993 -I really do not remember any big events that happened this year so I won’t be able to recall any.

1994 – I received my very first bike with training wheels from my brother. I loved riding around on that thing!

1995 – I was a flower girl with my sister for my auntie’s wedding in the Philippines. What an amazing experience that was and I felt honoured playing such an important part on her special day.

1996  – My first year of primary school. This was a very scary milestone in my life since I was so used to being around my mum all the time. I cried so much when she took me to school. I did not want to let her go! I also remember crying in class and my teacher was so good about it.

1997 -I celebrated my 7th birthday at McDonald’s which is where they used to run parties for children with games, cake and the like. It was such a huge and popular thing to do at my age back then. All children got psyched about it.

1998 – I moved from Thomas Chirnside Primary School to St. Andrew’s Catholic School. That’s where I met one of my first best friends who, sadly I have lost touch with and don’t see anymore.

1999 – I memorised a speech for the very first time that I presented in front of my class. That’s all thanks to my dad who taught me a lot.  Memorising that speech increased my public speaking skills and confidence that became extremely useful in my later school years.

2000 – I had my first family trip to the UK and America.  I missed a good three months of school because of it! But it was a great trip from what I remember.

2001 – The year of 9/11 and although this did not affect me personally, I do remember going to school that morning and seeing it all over the news. Such an extreme event to be exposed to at the age of 11.

2002 -I became one of the sports captains for my team ‘Padua’. This was a very proud moment for me as it taught me how to be a good leader.

2003 – I began secondary school at Mackillop Catholic Regional College and I missed my first two weeks because of being in the Philippines and I was nervous as it was. Everyone else in my class had settled in for that time! But Year 7 was not as hard as I made it out to be at all. It was almost like my last year of primary school!

2004 – Me and my family moved from our old address we had lived in for 9 years to a new double storey house not too far away. I still miss my old house though! It had the biggest garden.

2005 – I started my very first part time job in retail at a department store. I was there for 5 years.

2006 – I went to Japan for two weeks for a school trip. It is such an amazing country and I would love to go again. My favourite sights were Tokyo and the Hiroshima Bomb Dome site. I met the most amazing people there and the host family I stayed with treated me as their own.

2007 – My father passed away – I lost my best friend that year. He was my mentor and still is my hero and admiration. That was a very difficult time for me and to this day I still find it hard that he’s not around… We were very close and it was painful to lose someone so close to me at the age of 16. I do appreciate I was old enough to get to know him though.

2008 – I turned 18 and had the best party ever to celebrate it. Surprisingly enough, I did not have one drink that night. I was never into drinking until I turned 19. This is all feels like so long ago now.

2009 – I entered my first year of University and studied the Bachelor of Arts. I am very grateful for uni as I have made many lifelong friends from there.

2010 – I broke up with my first serious boyfriend of three years. I met him when I was 16 and experienced what it was like to be in love. I was very naive then. I thought I would be with him for life so this was a pretty hard year for me, one in which I really lost myself and had no direction in life.

2011 – I decided to make a change and let go of my past by going to the US in September and the UK in November, where I am still living now and plan to for a year. It was the best decision I ever made. I have learned so much and grown so much as a person. This is has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life!

2012 – It is still quite early into the year but I currently enjoy being in the UK and working at a local club where I have met some really awesome people. This year is the year to be all things different, and travel anywhere I possibly can! I love my life 🙂

I hope you enjoyed reading through the journey of my life so far. I can’t believe how fast time has flown over the years!

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Going solo

Months ago I used to absolutely hate being single. After my ex, I wished to be with someone constantly and I never thought I would ever find that one Mr. Right. As I have mentioned in my ‘Love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely’ blog, I talk about how I felt I had to catch up to my friends who were in serious relationships. Through experience, I discovered that it wasn’t the right path to go down. I set myself up for disappointment and false hope with guys who could care less about me as a person. It’s all part of the learning experience anyway. But through all that, it has made me realise that I don’t ever want to revolve my life around that one guy because you never know what can happen and the majority are either of the following:
– they are just after sex
– they use you, get bored of you and don’t love you anymore
– they cheat
I don’t believe all guys are bad because I have good guy friends but through experience, I have come to learn that most guys could care less about you and one girl is never enough for them. You can’t ever really trust them, and you’d be lucky to have a guy who truly cares about you and loves you for you.

This isn’t an attack on all guys, but through my own experiences and through those of my friends, I have absolutely no interest in them at this point in time. Not to be in a relationship anyway. They are way too much drama and only cause trouble. I’m just so glad I am single and enjoy life not having to deal with boy dramas. I think after being in a serious relationship for 3 years, and during a time I was really young and naive, I think I owe it to myself to give all that time back to me, for when I wasn’t on my own. Already in these few months I have started getting to know myself again and I’m happier because I am dedicating my time to me and focusing on my wants and needs. I now know what I want in a guy in the future when I’m willing and ready to allow someone in and be able to trust them enough to let them have me if I feel they are worthy.

For the moment, the single life is really fun for me. I do everything that I want to do and I don’t have to run it by anyone. I also have so much more time for myself. I’m such a happier and stronger person this way. I’m so proud to say I’m happy on my own and this is how it will stay for a while.

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Self belief

I have been in England for just over a week and I have already been able to get two jobs: one at an inbound call centre only a 7 minute walk from home and one at a local nightclub called ‘Enigma’ as a bar person once a week every Saturday.

I’m so amazed that this has happened all so quickly. I feel like I have been here for longer than a week because I’ve settled in so well and adapted to things quite quickly. I really feel England wants me here. It’s all just working out so well for me. I’m so happy and loving life.

What inspired me to write this blog is the fact that the reason I have got to where I am now is because I believe in myself and I always have a positive attitude and keep an open mind. Of course being here is a new and different experience which has caused some nerves but it’s all about giving things a go and trying things out and seeing how far you get.

I’m so proud I have come so far in my life by having the opportunity to travel at such a young age. America was a great head start in travelling on my own. And now I’m in the UK! Life is just so great right now and I have already learned so much in this week since being in the UK. I have already had doors of opportunity in front of me that I am experiencing and I’m going to gain so much out of them.

Working at the bar will be a great way for me to meet different people and use my social skills that I’ve had my whole life. What I love about my personality the most is that I love talking to people, I’m friendly and very sociable. Now I can apply this to my job and make new friends!

I love that I’ve had the confidence and courage to get out there and experience the world and do different things. I’m never going to stop believing. Having faith is the key to a successful and happy life. I’m so excited for the year ahead!

Loved and dearest

What inspired me to write this blog is my family. They are such important people in my life and they play a major part in making me the person I am today. They are my most loved and dearest people in the whole world.

Last night I was on Skype with my niece and auntie and it was so good to hear their voices after a month. We talked for hours, laughed, exchanged life stories but what was the most touching to me was that my family is so supportive of me and my travel plans and they have really noticed the changes it has done to my life. They can see I’m really happy, positive and just loving life! And it makes me feel so good about myself and very confident. I have such a high self esteem and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

The first thing my auntie noticed was my weight, she could tell I had lost a lot in a good way according to her so I guess all this running and non excessive eating regime is really paying off! It means so much to me that my family can see the changes and it just makes me more motivated to keep it all up!

When family make you feel so great, you know that’s all you need. I know I’m very much loved by them which is why I maintain being positive and happy so they can be surrounded by that.

I love my family and I wouldn’t trade them for anyone.

Just laugh it off!

I’m pretty sure most of us have been through stressful times, whether minimal or extreme. And I’m pretty sure we have all been through a time where things are going really great for us and we’re really happy and some ‘one’ or some ‘people’ crap all over it and try and ruin it for us. When certain situations get us down we can change that mood in an instant! Since reading The Secret I have learned that you can have the choice to feel a certain way. YOU can choose the way you want to live your life and how you react to things. If you’re focusing on stressful situations and making yourself feel sad, then your going to constantly bring that negativity onto yourself. And if you want to feel happy it works the same way and you can change to that mood in an instant! I’m more than certain we would rather feel the latter. It is very true though. There is a lot of stress and hard times in this world but we can’t let it get to the point that we feel that there is no way out. We don’t have to feel sad about something if we don’t want to. Any situation, no matter how bad it may seem can be turned into a good one but it’s all up to YOU to turn it around.

I like to say that I’m more of a positive, open minded person these days but in the past when I’ve gone through terrible situations I have felt like it’s the end of the world, that there will be no solution and that the issue will never go away so I would keep focusing on it, bringing more misery into my life, taking things out on my loved ones and neglecting my needs. I know now that all of those feelings were unnecessary. Don’t get me wrong, of course we’re all allowed to feel sad and feel like crap at times, no day is ever perfect and we can’t expect it to be but  we shouldn’t have to make ourselves feel that way all the time. If you want to feel happy, you can change that immediately! Put on some good music – I recommend anything you can dance to because it gets your energy up, it’s good exercise and I can guarantee it will make you feel good straight away 🙂 It’s one of the things I love to do when I don’t want to focus on something that will stress me out. Go on a walk, a run, read a book or even go to your favourite place and just relax and write in a journal. Do whatever you know will put that smile on your face. There is ALWAYS something that will make you feel better. You’ve just got to find it and use it and you will turn that frown upside down!

A great thing that I’ve taken out from The Secret is to write a list of  ‘Secret Shifters’ down – these are things that make you feel better, things that make you laugh and feel happy. I have things included such as the beach because it’s one of my favourite places to be and somewhere I feel really calm, I have jokes between friends and I written down, my sister, my dad, things I like etc. These are all things that make me feel good. Different things you have on your list will shift your mood at different times so if you find that one of them doesn’t work, then move on to another. For example, thinking about the beach might not change my mood on one particular day but if I look at a joke between me and my friends, that is the primary thing that will make me feel better on that day. So it all depends but there is always something in that list that will lift your mood right up! So I recommend you all write a Secret Shifters list and keep it with you everywhere you go or somewhere you know you’ll always look at it.

But the most important point of all to stressful situations and to anyone who tries to bring you down is to just LAUGH IT OFF. There is nothing better than laughing about something that makes you sad. If you can’t do anything else, just laugh 🙂 It’s the best medicine after all, it makes us feel GOOD and everything seems so much easier and less of a problem. Whatever is going on in your life just disappears because you’re not focusing on the bad points. When it comes to people who are trying to get in your way, piss you off and bring you down for no good reason, just think to yourself, they are only trying to put you down for something they are lacking in their own lives and to feel better about themselves. So there is no point in feeling sad about it. In the end, they’re the ones who look like fools. WHO CARES! Laugh everything off  and the world will become a better place I can guarantee it 🙂

I am number one.

I’ve been reading The Secret lately and for those of you who don’t know it it’s a self-help book about the teachings and understandings of life and how you can change your life by using positive thinking. It’s a good read if you need to find yourself or grow in some way.

One aspect of The Secret that captures me the most is the teaching of attending to your own joy first rather than of others. In this particular section which is known as ‘The Secret to Relationships’ The Secret states that most of us have been taught to put ourselves last and as a result we attract feelings of being unworthy and undeserving. I’m sure a lot of us have been in this situation where we feel we should put others first in order to make them happy even if it is at a cost of our own happiness. We have this thought in our minds that as long as that other person is happy, then that’s all that matters. Before now, I would constantly put others before me. One example in particular when it comes to my friends, if one friend wanted to see me one afternoon but I had also planned to see a friend in that same afternoon I would try and fit both in so I wouldn’t let any of them down. Even though it was a lot of pressure and stress on me and would mean I would have to rush in seeing each friend, it didn’t matter as long as they were both happy. At the end of the day though, true friends will understand if something else has come up and you are unable to catch up with them. They will be happy to reschedule for another time. I did the same thing with my ex boyfriend after we broke up. If I had planned something for myself or with my friends and sister too, I would always put him first because there was this constant desire to make him happy and keep me in his good books so he’d always know I’d do whatever it took to make him happy, even though he didn’t treat me the way I wanted to be treated. But at the time it didn’t matter about me or anyone else, as much as I hate to say it now. It’s not worth losing friends over or becoming distant with them when they become sick of the fact you are constantly making yourself unhappy. If any of you have been in this situation you would know the feeling. You become so consumed in making this one person happy that you begin to neglect your own wants and needs.

So in saying that, is it really worth putting someone first at the cost of your own self worth and happiness? Personally, I think not at all. The Secret states that you need to attend to your joy first before others otherwise you are never going to feel good about yourself and you are allowing yourself to be treated badly by others and make it look like it’s okay for someone else to treat you that way. And who wants that for themselves? After months of acting this way, I know now never to risk my own happiness at the cost of somebody else especially if they are not worth it and don’t give as much back to you as you give to them. Joy comes from within, and we are all responsible for our own joy. People around us can contribute to our happiness but the joy comes from within ourselves. If we feel joy and feel good about ourselves you become good company to be around and others around you will feed off that joy and treat you the same way back, and this is because you are being happy within yourself, not because of someone else.

I don’t know about any of you, but I used to feel I needed someone to tell me I’m beautiful and tell me I’m a good person in order to believe that I am. But it doesn’t work that way. If we are relying on what other people tell us to convince ourselves we must be a certain way, that isn’t loving yourself, that isn’t being happy within yourself. It shows that you are insecure and lacking confidence in some way so you need other people to remind you of the good things about yourself. If you don’t love you and you are not happy within yourself, you are never going to feel good so no one is going to see and feel the good in you.  Be kind to yourself, know that you are a good person and tell yourself that everyday. A good friend of mine once told me to look in the mirror and tell myself  ‘Am I spunk or what?’ And it’s not silly to tell yourself that at all because you deserve to feel good within yourself in order to be happy each and everyday. Remember that YOU are the most important person in this world and never forget it!

Not only in situations when it comes to ex boyfriends, but in any situation where you are putting someone else before yourself and it makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, just say NO and don’t go ahead with it if you feel uneasy and not good within yourself. Because it’s really not worth the result of being unhappy in the end. People will respect you more if they know you’re not always going to be at their beck and call. If you ever have any doubts just remember this quote: ‘Saying no to others, means saying yes to you’. Do you know you’re number one? I know I sure am.

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